And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
