Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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