just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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