lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
