do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
