Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
