ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
