He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
