she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
