we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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