I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
