By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
