She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I would ride that face into the sunset
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
