He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize