Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
