It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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