I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize