That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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