Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
