I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
