i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
