I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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