Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize