He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My dad is sitting where you rode me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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