Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
