i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
