playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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