i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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