we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
