I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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