about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
