in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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