Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
