absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
