if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
