Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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