i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
