Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize