Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
