Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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