I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
