she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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