I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
