and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
