Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
