all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
