bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
