i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dicks are not precious.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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