i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
