barbara walters just said penis...
I look better un-naked...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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