I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
