You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
