real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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