The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
