We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
