Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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