very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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