escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
