just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
kristin has been a bad kristin
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just got carded by a ten year old.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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