her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize