so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
