OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The Olympian is in my bed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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