I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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