I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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