at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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