how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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