id be glad to
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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